A Snyder In The Sun

A Snyder In The Sun

Camp Throwback 2014

I've lost count of the bruises. My calves still burn like I can only imagine Lance Armstrong's did after he cheated his way through all those races. I have shin splints and a pretty gross cut on the tip of my thumb. Prison fight you wonder? Tough Mudder? Escape from a crazed serial killer? Nope. None of those things. It was camp, bitches! Adult summer camp to be specific. And it was awwwwwesome!
Welcome to Clarkesville, Ohio: population 100+ DRUNK.
My sister, Tasha, and I arrived in Dayton on May 29, 2014 ready for what? We weren't quite sure. Our favorite blogger brittanyherself.com came up with the brilliant idea of putting a group of adults together at a camp. There would be field day, drinking, camp food, drinking, crafts, drinking, bonfires, drinking, and a 90's night dance party. Oh, and drinking. Sounded like it was right up our alley.
So we get to camp after a detour to find White Castle, which we've never been to, but thoroughly enjoy thanks to the frozen ones all stores carry. Fuck you outdated GPS! Pizza Hut takeout is NOT the same as those stinky armpit burgers! Anywayyyyy, we finally get to camp and it's pretty. Like, makes me long for summers growing up in Pennsylvania pretty. We pull up and are told to park and go to registration. We go into the chow hall where registration is being held and there she is. BRITTANY FUCKING GIBBONS! Like, in the flesh. Her hair is red and glorious. Just like I knew it would be. Brittany looks beautiful and we can't fucking believe this is actually happening. She is my unicorn but she's real, and I'm shitting my pants. She has us fill out some liability forms...probably a good idea...and gives us a sweet bag of swag and our cabin number. Cabin #8 represent!! We leave registration and make our way to our weekend accommodations.
Holy shit. I forgot what camping was like! Our cabin is modest and cute. Bunk beds! What?! It feels like Step Brothers up in this bitch. Tasha takes the top bunk. Good thing too because I'm pretty sure those liability forms would have come in handy for Camp Throwback if I was to sleep 6 feet off the ground. I'm looking at my bed thinking Ummmm how the hell am I ever going to sleep on this thing? Suddenly a little voice in my head whispers Booze, Justine, boooooozzzze. Smart thinking, self.
Now is the time to explore. How about a little bathroom break? The bathrooms are actually quite nice. And that's when I see him. Fred Savage, and he's staring at me from the mirror. I go around the corner and am inundated with some of the best 90's heartthrobs. Sweet little laminated Teen Bop and Tiger Beat pictures on all the bathroom stalls. How fun! We can't stop laughing...or taking pictures.
There are 9 girls cabins. Well 8, cabin 9 was empty. There was also 2 men's cabins. Side note, there were 10 or 12 men there. Most came with their wives, but some didn't, and that's just awesome. So far all the ladies we meet are super sweet, including our cabin mate Nicki, who insists we won't like her because she says FUCK a lot. Umm, hello? Fuck is one our favorite words. We're going to be besties!! And then there is Nanci, the lady we are going to see on the news in a few weeks after she attempts to kidnap Justin Timberlake.
By this time we have started drinking. The night was young. And it was ours!

More to come :)

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