A Snyder In The Sun

A Snyder In The Sun

Dear Man Eating The Donuts At The Gym

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or be extremely pissed off at you.  I mean...come on dude.  Who the hell eats a half dozen powdered donuts at the gym while watching people work out?  Were you even there to work out?!  I highly doubt it since you were dressed in denim jeans and dress shoes.  

Here's the thing, I love donuts too.  If I could eat them every single day without gaining a pound, I would buy stock in Krispy Kreme.  But alas, if I even THINK about LOOKING at a donut, my stomach develops an extra roll just as a fuck you reminder that I am not 22 anymore.  And then here you are just a munchin' away on some powered deliciousness while people are grunting and sweating all around you.  Is it, like, a fetish thing?  Did you work out prior to eating those donuts? Or did you just decide that your local YMCA was the ideal place to indulge?  I don't get it.

The fact that not a single roided-up muscle man thought it a good idea to pummel you in the face with a 5 pound weight is beyond me.  Maybe they found it comical.  I do know that from here on out I'm going to be watching for you.  I'm interested to see what you'll bring in next. Will you be eating a giant hoagie dripping with mayo?  Maybe sipping on a dirty martini? Perhaps you will be eating an entire chocolate cake.  We shall see.  The suspense is killing me.

Sincerely,

The Girl Who Came To WORK OUT!

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