Dear Man Eating The Donuts At The Gym
I wasn't sure whether to laugh or be extremely pissed off at you. I mean...come on dude. Who the hell eats a half dozen powdered donuts at the gym while watching people work out? Were you even there to work out?! I highly doubt it since you were dressed in denim jeans and dress shoes.
Here's the thing, I love donuts too. If I could eat them every single day without gaining a pound, I would buy stock in Krispy Kreme. But alas, if I even THINK about LOOKING at a donut, my stomach develops an extra roll just as a fuck you reminder that I am not 22 anymore. And then here you are just a munchin' away on some powered deliciousness while people are grunting and sweating all around you. Is it, like, a fetish thing? Did you work out prior to eating those donuts? Or did you just decide that your local YMCA was the ideal place to indulge? I don't get it.
The fact that not a single roided-up muscle man thought it a good idea to pummel you in the face with a 5 pound weight is beyond me. Maybe they found it comical. I do know that from here on out I'm going to be watching for you. I'm interested to see what you'll bring in next. Will you be eating a giant hoagie dripping with mayo? Maybe sipping on a dirty martini? Perhaps you will be eating an entire chocolate cake. We shall see. The suspense is killing me.
The Girl Who Came To WORK OUT!