Dear Mom Guilt
You know what? I'm really sick of you. I could go the rest of my life without you and I would be perfectly content. I'm talking lounging on the beach with a Kettle One and club soda (extra lime please) in my hand, kind of content. To have that sort of peaceful feeling in my life again would be greatly appreciated.
It's just never enough, do you know what I mean? NO EVIE, you can't bounce all over our super fun bouncy leather furniture. I know it's a blast, but it also cost a lot of money. You don't have enough in your piggy bank to cover the cost of repairing a tear your gorgeous tiara might make in the leather as you run full speed, head first, into the couch. Sorry, I just can't be the "fun" mom when comfortable furniture and my daughter's head is at stake. Sorry Everly, you're just going to have to cry it out for a while in your crib because mommy has no idea what the hell you want and I'm pretty close to the edge right now, so it's just best I be left alone for 10 minutes to cry in my closet in peace.
And then there are the times when I'm just plain ol' tired. Ugh, can we just skip the bedtime story tonight, honey? Mommy isn't feeling great and just wants to go to sleep. Translation: Netflix and my comfortable bed are screaming my name. I need to RELAX! We can read about princesses or busy spiders tomorrow night.
I beat myself up every single day about how I should've done this with my girls, or how I really should not have raised my voice about that. But you know what? Being a parent is really effing hard! I'm sick and tired of feeling guilty all the time! When nighttime comes and I'm laying in bed, instead of thinking about all the crap I've done wrong, I need to think about the fact that my girls are still alive and happy.
I feed them, bathe them, dress them, love them, and put up with their endless amounts of little kid bullshit. I kiss their boo boo's and wipe their asses. I deal with the tantrums and the nightmares. I love them unconditionally and would do anything to keep them safe, except if there is a spider in the mix. In that case, sorry ladies, but you'll have to fend for yourselves. I'm a great effing mom, dammit, even if Evie tells me she would love to live with our neighbors. So mom guilt? Yeah, you can suck a fart. I have better things to occupy my mind...like how I will pass the time until The Walking Dead is back on and my Sunday nights are complete again.
Love Always and Forever,