Dear Old Woman That Almost Hit Me With Her Car
Listen, I understand what it's like to back out of a parking space. It can be hard. It can be stressful. It can just plain suck. That said, it's also something you should have learned in Driver's Ed like 75 years ago. Here's some food for thought: maybe you should, I don't know, try looking behind you before you slam the car into reverse and stomp on the gas! I should think that this is common sense. Call me crazy.
I guess I will apologize for slamming my closed fist on your trunk and nearly giving you a heart attack. My bad. I didn't realize you were about 110 years old. However, in my defense, when a very large Cadillac is hurling at me, I tend to stop thinking rationally. Hopefully you aren't having heart palpitations. Let's let bygones be bygones and call this a draw. But if this happens again I can't guarantee I won't massacre your car with my bare hands. Remember that scene in Tommy Boy when the deer wakes up in the back seat of David Spade's car and proceeds to go ape shit and completely destroys it? Yeah, that's probably how your car with look when I'm through with it. Just something to think about.