I Did It Raw
Let's get something straight out the gate, this isn't a post about sex. Ugh, how boring, right? Nope, it's about raw eating. Not the raw food movement kind, but the lazy Justine kind. I challenged myself to eat nothing but raw fruit and veggies for 5 days. I could have my coffee in the morning, some alcohol (because come on, I'm not a savage),and water, and raw nuts, not the delicious honey roasted kind. That's it.
NOTE: This challenge had nothing to do with losing weight. In fact, I didn't even weigh myself before starting. Nope, it was more about seeing if I could actually do it and, you know, not eating crap for a few days. This is how it went...
- Epic fail. Totally forgot about my plan. Things can only get better from here, right?
- Oh hey there delicious biscuits that I like to toast and smother in butter and honey. You guys looks so purty in your package. I don't even eat breakfast but you guys look scrumptious. Also, I hate you right now. Let's have a piece of fruit instead, yay! Hashtagyeahfuckingright.
- I inadvertently ate a Cheerio whilst feeding Little E some. It's amazing how instinctual it is to just eat without thinking. Damn that dry ass, stale Cheerio was awesome. I need coffee.
- (The hunger rage set in at this point) WHO THE FUCK EVEN LISTENS TO NICKLEBACK ANYMORE?
- I made mac and cheese and nuggets for Evie for dinner. Why? Because I must hate myself. I took 3 bites of the mac because, hello, it's the shiz. FAIL!!
- I ate a banana, apple, and a little fruit salad all day. I'm pissed, light headed and cold. Starvation has set in. I may not last until the morning. Pray for me. And whatever you do? Don't you dare say you'll eat so and so for me. I'll stab faces.
- I binged on some baby carrots before bed last night, so I didn't wake up too hungry. Took Evie to school, but not before eyeing up her breakfast. Going to nap once Little E does. If I'm sleeping, I'm not starving.
- Woke up from a glorious nap. Highlight of my day? The icy cold coffee waiting for me in the fridge. I've noticed my patience for everything are wearing thin. Little E and I shared a banana.
- Had to go to the grocery store for more milk, because apparently toddlers drink roughly 700 gallons a week.
- The grocery store can go fuck itself.
- Texted Jon "I'm missing you a lot at the moment. Not sure what's going on. Getting very emotional. Damn raw diet."
- Picked Evie up from school. Put Evs down for a nap. New highlight of my day? I poured myself a half cup of mixed nuts. Needs my protein yo!
- Made Eves a bitchin' salad for dinner and salavated like a canine the entire time she ate it. Dressing?! You lucky little duck, you. Chicken? Must be nice. Grated cheese? Ughhhhhhhh. I would probably eat one of my 700 animals by now if I wasn't squeamish about blood.
- Chugged a water. Livin' the dream, folks, livin' the dream.
- My heart and head are happy I didn't stray from the plan today. My body on the other hand? It's telling me to fuck off and go to bed. I need all the energy sleep will give me to make it through the next two days. Two more days of this? Fml.
- Reluctantly got up after an interrupted night's sleep (Little E got up at 3 am for no reason at all) and gave Evie some Cocoa Puffs for breakfast. No judgies. I wasn't tempted by them at all.
- Had a headache. Probably because I'm super dehydrated.
- My coffee was the bomb digs, as usual. I opted for a shower instead of a nap. I will regret this around 3:00.
- Lost all willpower and ate sushi for lunch. It was fucking amazing and mostly veggies. Just a little cream cheese and rice. Suck on that! I also had a Godiva truffle. I expected it to taste better, but I inhaled that fucker so fast it barely registered as food. You would think I would beat myself up for this, right? Nope, All I can think about is how much I want chicken tenders.
- My brain is definitely off. I'm switching tenses like a crazy woman.
- I bought some wine yesterday. The thought of funneling the whole thing in one shot has crossed my mind 37 times today.
- Drank some wine
- Ended up eating chicken nuggets and a cheese sandwich. Raw diet officially dead.
- Ate a burger. It was glorious!
So, okay, I lasted two days doing the raw thang. It was awful. I was starving, short-tempered, weak, and dramatic the whole time. Never again! Note to self: Stop coming up with stupid challenges you KNOW you won't be able to do. I mean come on, give up White Castle cheeseburgers in favor of a fresh tomato? I'd rather shoot myself in the foot. But, to each their own
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