The Chaos Of Co-Sleeping
Typically I don't allow the girls to sleep in my bed. I am an incredibly light sleeper and any tiny movement will wake me up and probably make me silently rage which causes stress and therefore makes it impossible for me to fall back to sleep. Sure enough once I'm juuussssttttt about asleep a child will move or even breathe loudly and I'm right back at square one. No bueno. Also there's the fact that my bed is queen size. At the moment I am queen size as well. Add to this a husband who enjoys sleeping in his own bed, and let's just say there isn't much room for a child. So unless it's necessary, I don't co-sleep with my kids.
I'm making an exception to the rule this week. My husband and oldest little left for Pennsylvania for a week so it's just me and the little little holding the fort down. It was too expensive for all of us to go, plus I'm like 700 years pregnant, plus I just had surgery, plus someone has to take care of our mutts and house. Total bummer I won't see PA this summer but I guess someone has to be responsible. Fuck. Sooooo, since it's only me and my youngest here I decided that if she wanted to sleep in bed with me, she could. I figured she would be happy about it since she shares a room with her sister now. I would imagine it would be lonely and possibly a little scary for her to sleep in there by herself.
So about last night. We're both cozy in my bed but of course my child wouldn't stop talking. I tell her to shhhhh and close her eyes. She begins to whine and tells me she wants to sleep in her room. The fuck?! Well too bad, sweetheart, mama is comfy now and I'm not getting up and you're just going to have to suck it up and go to sleep! She whined a little more and passed out. Okay, bedtime for mom. NOT!!
All night long she kicked me. Not only did she kick, she somehow managed to trace her tiny foot up and down my back ever-so-slowly. Then she stuck her foot directly in my underwear. At that point I just quietly laughed to myself because it was so absurd. My sweet little lady basically spooned me and beat the shit out of me all night long. This, folks, is why I don't co-sleep.
There was a plus to all of this. My rambunctious little turd of a child didn't wake up until after 10:00! That's the stuff right there. Shortly after waking up she mentioned that she wanted to sleep in her room tonight. Translation: I want you to put me to bed in my room, then I'm going to come into your room approximately 4 times before you get so pissed off that you force me to sleep in your bed so you don't have to keep dragging your fat ass out of bed just to put me back in bed another 7 times until I'm too tired to get up again and eventually pass out.
Oh well, there are worst things...right?