A Snyder In The Sun

A Snyder In The Sun

Phone, Where Da Fuq You At?

I lost my phone in my house on Saturday.  I was super duper drunky poo and totally misplaced it. I searched everywhere and still have not found it.  Lucky for me I was smart and opted for the full coverage insurance when I bought the phone.  I put my claim in, paid my $49 deductiable, and boom! a new phone was delivered on Tuesday.  Those few days without a phone were extremely eye opening.  Here is what I learned:

  1. Without insurance or an upgrade, I would've been fucked.  The cost to replace a phone is astronomical and should be illegal.  Ummm, no thanks bro, I can't afford to pay $600 for a new piece of technology, no matter how badly I need it.  Also, upgrades should be once a year, not every 2 years.  I am clumsy and I have small kids.  The chances of my phone making it to my next available upgrade are slim to none.  Get with it, yo!
  2. I am fully addicted to my phone and spend WAY too much time on it.  I may have been sweating a little on Sunday without it.  That could've also been the toxins coming out of my body.  I can't be sure. 
  3. I don't own an alarm clock.  I woke up Monday morning around 4:30 and couldn't fall back asleep.  I was too scared that I wouldn't wake up in time to get my chitlin to school. My phone contained my only source of alarm.  Or so I thought.  There is actually an alarm built into my Kindle.  Sweet.  I used it Tuesday morning.  The more you know.
  4. I can't pay some of my bills without my phone.  I typically pay bills online, or have them automatically taken out of my checking account.  But I also have a bill that I pay through an automated process over the phone.  That bill was late this month.  Woops!
  5. I need to download all my phone photos onto my computer.  I lost some gems.  Well, I probably didn't lose them per se, because that goddamn phone is somewhere in this fucking house, but still, it makes me sad.  I also had a ton of hilarious memes saved on that thing.  I better find it someday.
  6. I shouldn't have a phone when I drink.  I love to text and make phone calls when I'm sipping the sauce. Yes, I'm that sort of basic bitch.  If you see me drinking and phoning, take that shit out of my hand and hide it.  But DON'T FORGET WHERE YOU PUT IT!  I can't afford a new one. And my upgrade isn't good until July...of 2017.  
  7. It's freeing to not have a phone for a little bit.  As much as I rely on it, I don't NEED to have a phone on me at all times.  Hell, I didn't even have a cell phone until I was a sophomore in COLLEGE.  Somehow I managed to get along just fine.  Maybe this little episode will put me in check and help me put my phone down more often than pick it up.
  8. I love Instagram.  Nothing really to add.  I missed this app.
  9. Facebook looks weird on the computer.  It looks too busy and I don't like it.  I much prefer the simpleness that the mobile version gives.
  10. I need to put important information on an actual calendar, not JUST my phone calendar. I have no idea what's in my calendar, but I DO know that some of it was important.  Fuck.

It's lovely to have a shiny new phone to call mine again, I will admit.  However, those few days without one turned out to be a pleasant experience.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not getting rid of my phone.  As I type this the fucker is right next to me on the couch.  But, I am determined not to look at it as much.  So, friends and loved ones, please stop posting hilarious videos of people getting scared and screaming and funny memes about the Golden Girls.  You know I can't resist that shit.  Seriously, it's a problem.

Feel free to pass me around to your friends.  I like to be shared ;)