That Smell? Oh, That's Just My 5 Year Old's Hair On Fire
Do you hear that? No? Well of course you don't. It's the sweet sound of silence. They say that silence is golden. Who are they? And what do they know anyway? When you have a child, unless said child is sleeping, silence isn't golden, it's straight up suspicious.
I was loading the dishwasher the other day while little E napped and big E played quietly in the living room. So I'm loadin' away when Evie comes in and says she needs water.
Okay, grab some water, Eves. Wait, what is in your bangs?
*Panicked looks on Evie's face* What, what is in my hair?
I don't know...it's weird. Come here, let me see.
I reached out and pulled at whatever was in her bangs. Turns out it was her bangs, in burned form. Yep, sure enough Evie leaned over to smell the delicious candle burning in the living room and burned her bangs.
My God Evie! You burned your hair! You literally burned the hair on your head! What were you doing?! I always tell you that you aren't allowed to go near the candles! You could have set your whole head on fire! You better be thankful your face didn't burn up! Ahhhh, your hair stinks! What were you thinking?! Get in the bathroom so I can wash your hair. Sweet Jesus! I can't leave you alone for a second...
Hey mom, what was that sound the candle made?
*Scooting her off to the bathroom*
That was your hair, Evie. It was the sound of your hair burning on your head!
Well what's that smell?
Again, child, that's your hair. Get in the shower.
Moral of the story? If your child seems to be too well behaved for too long, and it's quiet and peaceful in your house, do yourself a favor and find your kid. I guarantee he or she is setting something on fire, or flooding a bathroom, or wiping poo on the walls. They can't be trusted for a second. Even the super sweet ones. Real talk.