A Snyder In The Sun

A Snyder In The Sun

The Shit! It's Everywhere!

At any given time you will find a dirty, balled up diaper on the floor of my house.  It doesn't matter what room.  It will be there.  Living room?  Sure.  Everly's room?  Most definitely, especially if it is in close proximity to the Diaper Genie.  Come to think of it, the diaper's don't necessarily stay on the floor either.  Maybe you'll find one on the coffee table.  Or the couch. Or our bed.  It's like a diaper Easter egg hunt up in this b.  First one to find the smelly poop one gets a dollar.  Annnnnddd GO!

It's not like we are a lazy family, per se, it's more like there are 5,000 other things going on in our house at any given moment that are more important than remembering to put a diaper in the garbage. And wherever I can get Everly to be still, that's where the diaper is coming off.  She began the epic game of if you can catch me, you can change me about 2 months ago.  The kid will wiggle her body into all kinds of unholy positions that defy even the best yogis out there, all because she doesn't want a diaper change.  So the changing table in her room doesn't get used nearly as often as it used to.  It's basically a housing unit for diapers, creams, and whatever the hell else is laying around Everly's room that needs a home.  

Try as  I might, I forget about the dirty diapers, especially the ones without turds in them.  I mean, hey, if I can't smell it, what's the problem really?  I once saw an episode of My Strange Addiction on TLC.  This woman was addicted to smelling and sucking on balled up pee diapers.  I know.  The fuck?!  But she was.  I'm thinking of contacting TLC to get that woman's number.  Something tells me she has a nose for tracking diapers down.  I will pay her in pee and try really hard not to judge. 

Feel free to pass me around to your friends.  I like to be shared ;)