Holy Anxiety, Batman!
I'm not afraid of going to the doctor. It typically doesn't make me nervous, unless I'm getting a needle. If that's the case, I'm a little panicky, but know that shots really aren't a big deal. Same with getting blood drawn; it's a pinch and then it's over. There is, however, something different for me about going to the dentist. I straight up hate it. Like super-duper-will-do-anything-to-get-out-of-it, hate it.
If you read my last post you know that I needed to get a root canal. It was originally scheduled for Monday but I put it off until yesterday. The antibiotics the dentist gave me helped TREMENDOUSLY with the pain. As did the pain meds. Obviously. So yeah, I had the root canal yesterday, and here's what, I thought I was going to pass the eff out. Fo reals.
First off, I DESPISE needles in my mouth with the fire of a thousand suns. The initial pinch isn't bad, it's the weird pressure feeling that happens when the person all up inside your mouth is pushing the syringe full of shit into your gums. That's what gets me. Ewww, it's such a weird/gross feeling. Hates it. So I get a bunch of shots to numb the area and doc is ready to work his magic. He put the air sucky tub thing in my mouth and I thought I could kind of feel air blowing on my nasty tooth. It felt a little sensi but I thought it was just in my mind. Then the drill came. It was on my tooth for a second before my hands flew up and the doc stopped. Oh that's weird. Usually that's enough Novocaine. We'll have to block the whole left side of your mouth. Um okay, whatever's clever, Mr. He proceeds to shoot me with like 5 or 6 more needles and warns that the left side of my tongue will also go numb. Fantastic.
After the second batch of shots kicks in, Doctor Buzzkill starts on my tooth again. My hands immediately began to feel shaky. Indeed, my tongue did go numb. I have never experienced that before, and can only describe it as terrifying. My mouth was dry as shit, making it nearly impossible to swallow. Side note: how awkward is it when you are sitting in the dentist chair and you try swallowing when your mouth is all open and full of all kinds of instruments and tools and you got some dude like mere inches away from your face? So weird.
I was getting panicky. I've had anxiety attacks before that came out of left field. Ones that happened when everything in my life seemed to be going well. This was a different story. Once I was pumped full of shit from those needles, I thought I might just freak the fuck out in the chair. I actually felt the panic coming over me stronger each minute I sat there. I had to actively keep my mind occupied on the most random things or I probably would've thrown up and passed out right there. At one point I was counting holes in the ceiling because I thought I couldn't swallow anymore and therefore must be dying.
I have had two VERY large babies come out of my body. I've been torn apart and sewed back up without much complaining. I've had two epidurals, catheters, IV's, and more shots than I can count. But my root canal? Holy fucking crap I will NEVER have one of those again. EVER! If I have to brush 300 times a day and risk developing OCD when it comes to my teeth, so be it. I would rather that than what I experienced yesterday. Or maybe next time (please, fo the love of everything holy, don't let there be a next time) I will just have the good doctor rip the sonofabitch out. I can get a sweet gold tooth in it's stead. Hashtagthuglife. It would totally suit me.