Patience Is A Virtue. Ain't Nobody Got Time For That
Patience you say? Yeah, I have none. PK (pre-kids) I sort of considered myself carefree. My schedule was wide open, my commitments were slim, and my responsibilities were like zero. In college I had to drag my hungover ass to class and stay awake. Not too hard, right? Right. Except I skipped A LOT of classes. I mean A LOT. Whatevs, I kicked ass in my English classes and graduated. Suck it cheap beer and plastic bottles of liquor, this bitch schooled your ass. Literally.
I coasted through life happily and just let things happen. Now? Everything pisses me off. Okay, maybe not everything but more things than I care to admit. Especially unnecessarily loud noises. My mother-in-law used to call it sensory overload. I get frazzled super easily and want to punch everything in sight when things get too loud or too hectic. You know that feeling when you're driving and you are lost and the radio is playing too loud (so you turn it down) and you are on the phone with someone trying to get the right directions and the kids are yelling in the backseat and you swear to god that if things don't quiet down you're going to pull over and just abandon the car and kids on the side of the highway and stick your thumb out and hitchhike to San Francisco to put flowers in your hair? Yep, that's sensory overload. It's also called total lack of patience. Or anxiety. Take your pick.
Every morning I wake up I tell myself that I will be better at dealing with shit. Kids are loud. Dogs are assholes. Cats can't make up their minds if they want to be inside or out. Guess what? If Everly doesn't want to nap, she's not going to. Get over it. Evie will probably always be an endless ball of energy, literally bouncing off the furniture and walls. She isn't going to clean her room when I ask, she's just going to play. Instead of freaking the fuck out ALL THE TIME about the meaningless stuff, I need to choose my patience battles. Because at this rate? I'm going to have several strokes before I turn 30. And that would suck, because I have plans for that day that require the full use of all my appendages.
Taking time to smell the roses can be difficult, especially when it's hot as balls outside and there are bees surrounding the bushes. But I'm working on it. Little by little. One day at a time. One foot in front of the other. And all that jazz.