The 5 Most Suckiest Sucks From The Past Month
I can't even...
It's been rough lately, guys. Like super rough. I feel like we (my hubs and I) are sort of seeing the other side of the mountain now, so that's good. But holy shit. When it rains it pours? Felt more like a fucking tsunami. Here are the 5 things that sucked super bad about the month:
5- Olive's eye. So Olive had this Robert Deniro looking mole near her left eye since she was a baby. Of course it grew hair out of it. And of course the hair started to irritate her eye. Because why wouldn't it? Jon noticed that her eye started to look clouded over, sort of like how cataracts look. Fast forward to the vet. She needs to have the mole removed. Okay, no problem. Except they can't just freeze the damn thing off, she needs to have surgery. That stupid goddamn mole ended up costing way more than I want to think about. On top of that? She needs to have special drops put in her eye twice a day...FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE! And the drops? Yeah, they're not cheap either. Fuck.
4- Archer. The problem has been fixed, but man, what a pain in the ass. Okay, so Archer is our biggest dog. He's a husky and a puppy. So cute, but a rebellious little shit. My fabulous brother-in-law, Mark, installed one of those electric underground pet fences around our property. One of our best investments ever, considering we have 3 dogs that follow each other into all kinds of mischief. Soooooo, of course Archer's collar stopped working. He figured out that he could get through the fence. And that's what he did. Over and over again. The little turd managed to escape and play in a bunch of stagnant water, covering himself in the most foul smelling shit I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED. I had to track his ass down with the car and lure him to me using gum. He finally fell for it and let me pick him up and put him in the car. He was filthy and messed the car up pretty good. I took TWO, yes TWO showers to get the smell off. He also jumped through the screen door of our back sun room porch thingy. Thanks asshole. It took Jon about 3 hours to fix that shit. The joke was on him when his new collar came the other day. Go ahead, dude. Just try to get out of the yard now. ZAP!
3- Our spare car. We have a gorgeous 2000 something purple Dodge Intrepid. A real beaut. Really, it's just our A to B car. A just in case shit goes wrong with the Flex, car. It's been a pain in the ass for a while now. Something happened with the breaks about two months ago and just the other day the POS broke down at a convenience store. Not very convenient at all, amiright? Long story short, the purple monster got towed and cost like $200. Then my husband and company had to get it on a trailer and haul it off, which took over and hour and I'm sure SEVERAL offensive curse words to accomplish. Now we need to figure out what the eff is wrong with it. It better not cost an arm and a leg. I threaten to set a lot of things on fire. The car is not immune to those threats.
2- Evie Sherie. Oh boy. I love my oldest, I really do. So very, very much. She is funny, smart, super clever, and has the energy of a meth user (too much?). But lately...it's been...difficult. She is sassier than normal and sometimes, just down right mean. We are handling it the best that we can. I am not a patient person AT ALL so I am working on that. Only one more month until she starts Kindergarten. 10 deep breaths, 10 deep breaths.
1- Jon's work schedule. Holy effing shit you guys. My husband is working NON STOP. It's insane. It's a busy quarter at work and he is stepping it up to the millionth degree. I'm not kidding. He works about 4 crazy late days a week + most of the weekend. My love is barely sleeping. The girls and I have hardly spent any time with him, which makes things even more difficult. It's like being a single mom almost. Can I just say that being a single mom would be EXTREMELY difficult? Kudos to those women who rock that shit. You lovelies are warriors. Real talk. Anyway, Jon is doing the absolute best that he can on the work front AND family front. It's a delicate balance, and I love him for the huge effort he's putting forward. I think we have about 2 more months of this hectic schedule. Fingers crossed anyway. Reminder Justine, this too shall pass.
Of course these aren't Earth shattering problems. We're not breaking headlines here. But you know what? The past month kind of sucked, give or take. Here's to brighter days, folks!