A Snyder In The Sun

A Snyder In The Sun

Keep Your Hands Where I Can See Them, Doc

I went to a doctor's appointment yesterday.  It was the first time in about 8 years since I had been to an actual like primary care physician.  Normally I just get pregnant and rely on my OBGYN to tell me what those phantom pains mean.  It's cancer, isn't it?  Ummm, I'm not really qualified to tell you why it hurts when you poke under your ribs...i'm more interested in your vagina, specifically who is coming out of it.  Whatever doc, you say tomato, i say maybe you should've paid more attention in med school!

So I went to the doctor because I bruise extremely easily.  Like, if the wind blows a leaf in my direction, the leaf doesn't even have to touch me and I'm bruised.  It's gross.  I live in Florida and have to keep my legs covered far more often than i would like to, which leads to thigh sweating and a lot of obnoxious complaining.  On top of that,  I'm pretty sure I've caught the sympathetic gaze of several women at the grocery store.  No honey, my husband doesn't beat me, I just looked at my leg the wrong way and this horrible thing appeared.  Thanks for your concern though.  

The doc ordered me some blood tests, which I still have to schedule.  He also casually threw in there that he's going to be testing my thyroid and some other stuff (I don't know, I wasn't really paying much attention at the point) because I'm 29 now and I should be getting these tests done every 5 years once I'm close 30.  

So this is what it's come to, eh?  Suddenly I have to worry about thyroid levels and vitamin deficiencies and things sagging and stretching and getting one of those effing pill boxes that list the days of the week on it?  Great.  30's are the new 20's, my ass!

The Exorcist vomit-green decor did quite a bit to soothe my nerves.

The Exorcist vomit-green decor did quite a bit to soothe my nerves.

  

Feel free to pass me around to your friends.  I like to be shared ;)