Is Three A Crowd? No, I'm Not Talking About Threesomes. Perv.
After Little E was born, I knew almost right away that I wanted a third child. It wasn't like after Big E was born, not at all. When she was born my life was thrown into sheer turmoil. Evie was a wonderful baby, the best baby you could ask for really, but my world was still rocked. I was 23 years young and knew ZERO about taking care of a baby 24/7. Jon and I argued a lot, like most normal new parents do. I didn't like the way he flipped her upside down; He didn't like the fact that I left dirty diapers all over the house. But we got through it because we loved each other very much. And we're awesome. Obviously.
Over time, probably 6 months, we finally got the grasp on parenting. Each month and milestone presented it's challenges, but by then we were experts (insert laugh track here) and we took everything in stride...mostly. We loved our sweet Evie but didn't really want another baby, not anytime soon at least. That feeling didn't come until Big E was about 2.5 years old. I know, what the fuck were we thinking? What about the "Terrible Two's" could possibly make us want another baby? 'Cause we are crazy. Straight up. And I guess we like a challenge. Unless that challenge is running...anywhere at anytime, or not eating the entire box of Cheez Its in one sitting. In that case, fucking pass, dude.
I went off my birth control and we tried for baby number two. Well, since I was on the bc shot, it took a REALLLLLLYYYY long fucking time to get pregnant. Like a year. For someone with little patience like myself, this was an eternity. Every month that period pants came was another month of failure. It was crazy frustrating and scary. A little sidenote for you guys: the birth control shot is horrible. It might be made from the blood of Satan. I can't be sure. I DO know that it made me gain weight that I couldn't lose and it delayed me getting pregnant for a year AFTER I went off it. So yeah, the birth control shot can suck a big fat one.
Eventually I got pregnant and Little E was born 5 days early at a whopping 9 pounds, 9 ounces. My sweet little monster baby. I loved everything about her, including the constant (and no, that is not an exaggeration) breastfeeding, which I didn't love so much the first time around. I decided I wanted another baby and tried to get Jon on board in subtle ways.
Me: (as casually as possible from the other room) Hey babe! You know what we need?
Me: Another baby.
A FEW DAYS LATER
Me: I know the perfect gift you can give me for Christmas!
Me: Nope. I want to go off my birth control.
Jon: Well I want a vasectomy.
Me: Fucking hell.
And on and on this went. I thought I could wear him down, but it hasn't happened yet. The more time that goes by, the less sure I am that I even want to have a third baby. I already live with anxiety and two kids that yell at me constantly. As I type this, Little E is throwing pillows all over the living room while her cousin (yes, I babysit him and his sister now) cries because I won't let him jam my tweezers down his throat. Devastating I know, little dude.
My sister once said that children shouldn't outnumber their parents. Maybe she was on to something. As much as I love the idea of a third, it might just be too much. I'm leaning more towards no more babies, but I'm also a spontaneous ass who would flush my birth control immediately if Jon gave me the go ahead. Maybe I'll just go off it secretly and take advantage of him while he's drunk. I've heard that works really well and it's not psycho AT ALL.